It appears that 2020 was a bust. Shortly after I signed up for and started training for my first 70.3 Ironman, the world was hit by the COVID-19 virus. All training groups, gym activities, and races were reduced or eliminated.
Unfortunately, momentum is important for me. In the midst of all that, I lost my momentum. I also lost 45 lbs! So that’s good… but I didn’t keep up the fitness behind it.
Now in 2021, I’ve decided to focus on the one part of the triathlon that I struggle with the most: RUNNING. I like running. Maybe even love it sometimes. But I am S.L.O.W. The only way to get faster is to run more and practice faster…
Always motivated best by a goal, I have signed up for a 50K race in Moab, UT called the Bears Ears Ultra. 50K is 31miles. You guys, that’s MORE than a marathon!
In typical form, I have downloaded a Couch to 50k training plan, and I have time to do it 1.5 times – so I really SHOULD be ready. Get prepared for a bunch of photos of me on beautiful Colorado and Utah trails. Thumbs up, it’s time to get dirty!
This photo is me in Devils Canyon on the D-4 trail on a very unusual, rainy day. Couldn’t ask for better jogging/ power-hiking weather!
What does the little voice in your head tell you, when you think about making changes? Does it pipe up with stories of risk, shame, embarrassment or potential failure? You have the POWER to teach that little voice a lesson, and if you can’t do it on your own, perhaps you can recruit some friends to help. This story is about how I came by getting permission to do big, hard things.
For me, the words of my little voice are encouraged by popular media. It says ‘You’re pretty heavy, maybe you shouldn’t run. It could hurt your knees. ‘ It sometimes also says , ‘You have asthma. Asthmatics can die if they exercise too hard.’ However, that voice is plain-ole wrong. The FACTS say that:
Running makes your bones stronger. Even heavy athletes have less degradation in their joints than those who don’t exercise.
Exercise is both anti-inflammatory and anti-depressant. Anti-inflammatory and anti-depressant drugs are often used to treat asthma. SO, it turns out that well planned exercise can combat asthma. Ha!
The damn little voice isn’t convinced by facts. It needs something else. BUT WHAT?? I think of my little voice is really still the child self – running protective detail. It is the wounded 10 year old who was called fat, and didn’t have friends. And so, my inner voice needs abiding love, understanding, gentleness and care … and it needs to be proven wrong not once, but sometimes repeatedly.
I didn’t grow up as an athlete at all. Always overweight, I struggled to keep up on the playground and in all athletic endeavors – even as an adult. Still, there were a few key things in my early life that made me believe that I COULD do things. I am so grateful for those activities and some of the people behind them.
The first positive athletic event that I remember was being on the swim team. I was slow, but I could keep up better in the water than on land. My high school team members were NEVER harsh or judgmental – at least not to my face, which is good enough. I just did the drills and did my best and, other than the coach’s comments about my weight, I felt accepted and included. And sometimes I could beat some of the boys. Even today, when I swim, I feel fast and confident. Like a fish. Yesterday during my training swim, I made myself smile like Ethel Merman and I pretended I was in a movie. My inner voice was pleased with that. Water is awesome.
The second, more formative event that made me realize that I could do SO much more than I thought was at Mink Lake Summer Camp, Grand Maris, MN. Two beautiful humans hired me to be a summer camp counselor there. The camp director’s theory was that he could teach the physical, but he needed to find someone with dedication and a good heart. God bless that man. I needed SO MUCH teaching of physical things. I’m glad he saw the potential in my heart. True to their promise, the patience was always present in the camp director and in my co-counselors.
All of the counselors participated in physical training in April/ May before the students arrived. One of the activities we did was climbing a rock wall. Eventually all of the campers would do the same. Turns out it’s good training. But, I was heavy and had so little upper body strength. Still, everyone had to climb. We set the anchor and the confident folks started climbing, one after the other. I wasn’t last but I sure was holding back, hoping it would just go away.
Then it was my turn. I put on the harness, shouted ‘on belay’ and I started to climb the sandstone. It was so HARD. My fingers hurt, my habit was to be slow and to give up easily. No surprise, I wanted to quit half way up the wall. Lucky for me, those doggone friends and co-workers of mine would NOT let me quit.
They saw something in me that I didn’t see in myself. They coached, shouted, gave me time to rest and encouraged so loudly – even through my tears. After what seemed to be a VERY long time, by their effort and my own, I made it to the top. The feeling of ” I DID THIS” was so overwhelming. It was like nothing I had felt before. I collapsed on the ground and basked in the moment.
I don’t remember much of the rest of that day – or even a lot of the summer, but I do often re-envision the faces of my friends at the top, shouting me upwards while I cried and tried to quit. They taught me how not to give up on myself. For the rest of my life, I’ve given myself permission to push past the hurt and, more importantly, past the doubt. Recently, one of those old friends – who I haven’t talked to in 20 years – piped up on Strava to tell me that he’s proud I’m doing triathlons. My heart smiled that day.
Now, in my 40’s, I am so much more aware of the benefits of hard work. I’ve conditioned my inner voice to wait and see before sending in the doubt. But every time I think of doing something new, it’s another opportunity to give myself permission to be unusual, to try something that seems hard or weird. Every time I strike out on something bigger, longer, or just more; I have to keep telling myself that I’m good enough, that I’m worth it, and it’s perfectly ok if I go kick some ass.
Come on, inner voice. Let’s go see what we can do today.
Feb 1 was the beginning of my training season. I skipped December and January to allow for some ‘down time.’ Of course what I really mean is that short, cold days get me down and it’s hard to workout. So I didn’t do much of anything but sleep, eat and catch up on Netflix.
Today is a new day and tomorrow I have a new coach. To get my body from where I am: the slowest of slows, into shape to finish a Half Ironman in October, I will need more than my own knowledge and effort. This feat will require the support of a TEAM! If you’re reading this, then YOU area also part of my team. THANK YOU! I’m going to need cheerleaders.
Finding a coach is a bit like finding a boyfriend or girlfriend when you’re beyond marrying age. You want to try out a few before you really commit, but you have GOALS dammit, so someone now might be better than waiting for Mr./ Mrs. Perfect.
I did try on a couple of coaches back in October and November. Turns out it’s hard to find someone who wants to coach a fat, middle aged woman to a half Ironman. It’s even harder if that fat middle-aged woman also doesn’t want to discuss weightloss as a goal. So, went on a couple of ‘first dates’ with coaches who weren’t a good fit.
This weekend, I met a woman who, I hope, is the one. We connected on a lot of things. She’s an engineer and data person but, she sees the value of doing it ‘old school’ sometimes. So, I think we can work it all out. Fingers crossed!
Today’s workout was a spin on Zwift and then a hike in the McGinnis Canyons Conservation Area. The weather was gorgeous. My body is loving each brand new, extra minute of daylight that we are getting each day. Bring on the longer days!
Cheers to you all. Remember, you can only start from where you are. Don’t be afraid to TRY HARD THINGS.
Today, I am on a path towards a Half IronMan in 2020. Here is the story of how I got from ‘couch’ to training plan.
In April of 2019, I supported friends who were doing a multi-day long distance run in Fruita, CO. My support for them consisted of providing water, beds to sleep in, and copious amounts of cheer and amazement at their athletic endeavors. And I was absolutely blown away by the endurance and spirit of these two ladies. They had grabbed a hold of something that had always been so elusive to me, in my asthmatic, curvy, and sluggish body. These two could run, bike and swim for hours.
Post race snacks on Day 1.
Not one to make changes easily, I followed their training with amazement for a couple of months, wondering how I could possibly do something similar. I did some hiking with friends and family, and always was disappointed and overcome with self-pity and embarrassment at my slowness. It would take me so long to catch up when we went hiking. Looking back, nobody but me was that hard on me. I was my own worst critic. I know now that inner critic is the biggest factor that holds me back from being my best self.
Here I was, in my mid-forties, fat, out of shape and i KNEW there was something to be done about it. It just took a couple of good examples to show me that great things happen one step at a time.
So, I joined some online running groups, where I could lurk and learn. And I bought new running shoes – which may have sat in the closet for a few weeks. I overcame each hurdle that came at me. My only goal was ‘getting fit and moving more.’ First, to build space in my day to work out, I made myself just get up and go outside in the morning. Then I turned going outside into walking around my cul de sac. Soon I was jogging a little… about 2-3 days a week.
By June, I was ready to kick it into another gear by setting a goal and making a plan to get there. The GOAL: I signed up for a local Sprint Triathlon in September. The timeline gave me just about 14 weeks to train. I bought Jim Friel’s book, Your First Triathlon and modified his training plan to make it my own. Don’t laugh! This hand-written calendar is what spoke to me. I took the plan from the book, changed the start-day of the week and put it in my own writing. It’s glued to foam board and will live on my office wall for many months – until another one replaces it!
And with the plan before me, I put my head down and just did the work. Day by day, with shuffling on some days and a few bumps on the road, I did the work. By September, I was ready to finish my race. Finishing was my ONLY goal. Never did I let myself think about how fast I might be, or of coming in anything other than last. Last place was fine. Intentionally, I was doing a sprint triathlon that was run concurrently with an Olympic length triathlon. That means that even being the last finisher in my race, I was not likely to be more than twice as slow as the Olympic competitors – so I wouldn’t be last on the course.
Race day was everything I had hoped it would be. In spite of late-race rain and a thunderstorm, I finished. My darling husband carried a my things and provided cheer and emotional support at every transition. I definitely had tears at the finish line as he hugged me and told me ‘Good Job.’ The experience was enchanting and amazing. I am SO proud of myself for doing the work – day by day – to meet the goal. And I’m hungry for more.
A bonus outcome of doing this September race was that all of my fall hikes were much easier, and now I can keep up with most people on a normal hike. I am so EXCITED about who I am becoming. Now I am interested to see how far this body of mine can go. I will never be fast – but now I’m relatively certain that I can go long, with proper training.
This Blog will capture the next part of my journey – from that first sprint triathlon to a Half Iron Man triathlon in October. There will be at least 2 sprint triathlons in 2020 and some other races are on my plan as well. I plan to focus on things that help me train my MIND as much as my body. Doing the work to train the body is the easy part – putting in the reps, tracking the numbers, collecting data, and modifying to stay in track is just ‘crunching’ the numbers. However, doing the work to keep my mind engaged, encouraged, and to avoid sabotaging myself with too many rest days will be the HARD work.
Stay tuned for more of what that turns out to look like. It’s bound to be some kind of an adventure.
Any Body Athletics 